Barriers to Balanced Mentalizing in Couples’ Relationships: Understanding Relational Misattunement through Qualitative Inquiry

Abstract

Mentalizing, as the capacity to process intrapsychic and interpersonal events, can be beneficial for close relationships; however, certain factors may impede balanced mentalizing within relationships. While previous research relied primarily on quantitative methods and disregarded situational influences, more recent studies emphasise the role of context in shaping mentalizing processes. The aim of this qualitative study was to explore barriers to balanced mentalizing in couple relationships using thematic analysis. Fourteen couples were recruited through purposive sampling, and data were collected through semi-structured interviews. Barriers to balanced mentalizing in couple relationships were identified across three main themes and related sub-themes: individual barriers (emotional, cognitive and physiological factors), communication barriers (inappropriate conversation, lack of power balance, violence, ridicule, haste and urgency, suspicion and selfishness), and external barriers (stressful events, social-cultural influences, and attachment history). These findings contribute to a deeper understanding of how mentalizing processes can be disrupted in intimate relationships and suggest that addressing these barriers can improve relationship dynamics and enable clinical interventions. © The Author(s), under exclusive licence to Springer Science+Business Media, LLC, part of Springer Nature 2025.